The Big Decision
by GabbiCalabrese
Summary: I think the two of us both blamed ourselves for Adrian's death the same way we did Mason's. But really, it was neither of our faults. There was nothing we could have done, which is why I needed to do something now.
1. Chapter 1

I had been bunched up in my room for days. Crying and crying and crying. There was just so much pain.

I knew that God and I didn't exactly have a great relationship. I was agnostic. I figured God probably existed, but I didn't want to put the extra effort in believing in him. I used to go to church sometimes, but that was only to see Lissa or Dimitri. But surely, that wasn't worth this. Surely that was nowhere near bad enough to earn this much pain.

It had been four days since it happened, and the memory was still playing over and over in my mind, wrapping around me like a blanket—suffocating me.

Adrian sat beside me on the couch of Lissa's suite. Our fingers were intertwined and my head rested on his shoulders. We were on the loveseat by the window as Christian, Lissa, Tasha and Jill sat on the chair in front of us.

We were all laughing at Tasha's story about the guy on her plane that sat in front of her that kept falling asleep on the beautiful woman next to him. Apparently he was a drooler. But suddenly, alarms started going off throughout the whole court. Guardians busted through the door to protect the queen, but by then it was too late.

The window was shattered as chunks of glass hit my back. There were three Strigoi. The nausea that always let me know Strigoi were around, rolled through me a second too late. There were three. Two were going for Lissa, Christian, Jill and Tasha, but one was poised for Adrian and I.

That was a truly difficult predicament. The hardest decision of my life, perhaps. I was Lissa's main guardian. But Adrian was—well Adrian was Adrian. I loved him so incredibly much. I had about a millisecond to evaluate my situation.

There were four Moroi across from me along with two Strigoi and eleven guardians, and Tasha was pretty good with combat. They…they could have fought the Strigoi off, I knew they could have. But I was Lissa's guardian. Who was more important? Adrian Ivashkov or Queen Vasilisa Dragomir?

The answer was obvious, but I still could not bring myself to leave Adrian unprotected. Decision time is now, Rose, I told myself. I turned from Adrian, quickly grabbing the stake from my jacket and threw a kick to the nearest Strigoi.

It was a male, obviously a Moroi before, and he stumbled from the contact. Another one of Lissa's guardians was handling the other one, so I continued to fight the one in front of me. This Strigoi clearly wasn't very powerful, probably just a minion sent to do the dirty work for whoever the leader of this operation was.

He reached out to grab me, but I ducked out of his arms. I shot back up and landed a punch to his jaw. Guardian Melrose took down the other Strigoi, who was a female. The one I was battling turned to look at his dead partner and that was my opportunity to strike. I aimed my stake, and as I was about to plunge I heard Adrian grunting beside me.

"Help him!" I screamed as loud as I could to the other guardians. In my peripheral I saw two running towards the Strigoi behind me. I heard mumbled _nos._ And horrible gasps. Those same two guardians ran back towards Lissa only seconds later, and I knew in that instant what had happened.

I didn't let it register, though. Not yet. My Strigoi was looking at me now, ready to pounce. But I didn't give him the chance. He left his chest vulnerable and I used as much force as I could and drove the steak through his heart. His eyes rolled behind his head and the life drained from his features.

I turned around in circles, assessing the room, confirming that there were no more Strigoi. There were two dead bodies on the ground but other than that the room was empty of undead creatures.

I ran to Lissa and hugged her. "Are you alright?" I asked between heavy breaths.

Her eyes were filled with horror as she nodded. "I'm fine."

I looked at Tasha, Christian and Jill. "You guys good?"

They all nodded or mumbled something. Finally I forced myself to turn around. I saw the beautiful red velvet couch that Adrian and I were cuddling on only moments before. It had glass shards splayed across it and it had a long tear on the left cushion.

But there was no third dead Strigoi. No Adrian.

I hit my knees and began to hyperventilate. I didn't care about the chunks of glass that dug into my skin as I struck the carpet. I didn't feel it. The only pain was the ache in my heart. "No," I cried. The hot tears rolled down my face and everyone watched as I sobbed. So what? They saw my cry. What did it matter? Adrian was gone. He was gone! Who knew what the Strigoi were going to do with him?

"No!" I shouted it this time, repeating it over and over again. No. Adrian couldn't have been gone. He couldn't have been taking. He just couldn't have.

I felt a pair of small fragile arms wrap around me. I tore myself away from Lissa and buried my face in my hands. My chest was heaving and my brain was clouded with Adrian's face.

All I could see were his dazzling green eyes and his stylishly disheveled hair. I saw his soft lips and I remembered what his fingers felt like laced with mine. Adrian was gone now.

Now, back in my room, people tried to visit me. Lissa knocked several times, she even came in once to try to comfort me. Nothing helped. I just kept bawling.

Adrian and I had been together for three years now. After Abe saved me from being executed, and Dimitri and I figured out that Jill was Lissa's half-sibling, Dimitri had decided to go back to Russia. He admitted he still loved me but said he needed time to think. He told me that being away from me was the only way he could do so clearly. So he left and never came back.

After that I was glad to be with Adrian. I realized that he would never do anything to hurt me, as Dimitri continued to do so. My heart still ached for Dimitri a lot, but nothing compared to what it used to. In fact, my love for Adrian over powered that after about a year, and I was finally happy.

Lissa became the queen after Dimitri left, and I became her main guardian. Eddie was technically Adrian's guardian but since Adrian was always with me Eddie mostly stayed with Lissa's entourage.

Christian was assigned a pretty shitty guardian who died only a few months after in a Strigoi fight. I killed the Strigoi that killed him. Lissa, of course, didn't assign that guardian to him. Queen Tatiana had listed him—Joshua Lambert—as his guardian before Ralf Sarcozy had murdered her.

Lissa continuously offered Christian new guardians but really, he didn't need them. He had her guardian, me, and of course his fire.

Adrian and I were so happy together. He loved me as much as I loved him. And at nights he showed it for hours at a time. We often talked about our future together. I was only twenty-one, so I wasn't ready for marriage or anything serious like that, especially while I was guarding Lissa. He understood, and told me that one day we would get married though. I told him he was right.

We talked about kids. Adrian said that it wasn't a big deal and that he never really liked them much anyways. I told him that I wanted them one day, probably when Lissa retired her throne. He liked that idea a lot, because as much as he loves me he was never going to be Mr. Mom.

Sometimes we even talked about Dimitri. Every time this subject was brought up, I would remind him that that was my past and that Adrian was my future. I made sure he realized that Dimitri Belikov no longer consumed my heart. Sometimes when we discussed Dimitri, though, Adrian would get angry and he would vent on how much he hated Dimitri for hurting me for so long. He knew that if I was never crushed several times then he and I wouldn't be together.

He still hated it, and said that if he could he would get revenge on Dimitri for every ounce of pain that the man caused me. I liked the idea and knew that it could never happen. Unless of course he gained some sort of miraculous physical strength, or he turned Strigoi…

For the first time in four days my tears stopped.

Adrian wasn't dead…he was gone. They had taken him away. No, they hadn't. One Strigoi had. And it wasn't like he had fed earlier, I knew how to tell by a Strigoi's face after spending so much time with Dimitri when he was a Strigoi. So if he wasn't saving him for a later snack because he was full, why else would he take my Adrian away?

There was only one answer and the realization hit me like a harsh wave.

I felt dizzy and my heart was racing. I no longer felt like crying. I wanted to hunt down every Strigoi and kill them all until I found the one that had had taken Adrian. But I didn't get a good enough look to know who it was.

I stood up and marched to my door. I was pissed off. There was no way Adrian was going to remain a Strigoi. No, not while I was still breathing.


	2. Chapter 2

**So, I know that this was a completely random story. But the idea started forming in my head and I sort of liked it. I couldn't wait to get it on paper…or, well, a computer screen. Thank you to those of you who reviewed! I really do appreciate it. Keep on showing your support and I'll keep writing! Okay, enough with my rambling.**

**I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE ACADEMY OR THE CHARACTERS AND SETTINGS. JUST SOME OF THE PLOT. PLEASE DON'T SUE ME.**

I knew I looked like a mess. How could I not? But I didn't care. There was something that I needed to take care of. This would cause a lot of controversy, of course, but I know that Lissa will be willing to help me in any way that she could.

I opened the door to my room and looked down the hallways on both sides of me. I waited for one dhampir to get into her dorm before I stepped out of my doorway. I closed the door quietly behind me. I didn't want to attract too much attention. I tip-toed through the hallway and when I got to the elevator I pushed the down arrow.

The doors slid open to reveal two dhampir on their way down to the ground level. Eddie Castile and one of Lissa's guardians. Eddie looked up when the door opened and it took him a few seconds to recognize me. His mouth gaped open and he signaled me inside of the small elevator. The moment that I stepped in, Eddie wrapped me into a hug.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" He exclaimed. Eddie was always a good friend. I had saved his life twice during our senior year. The first time I rescued him was in Spokane. He had gone with Mason and Mia and Christian and I had gone to save them. We were so close to escaping, but we were captured by some humans that were working for Strigoi. Eddie had been used as the leader, Isaiah's, chew toy. I killed those two Strigoi while he, Mia, and Christian escaped. Only Mason didn't escape.

Mason was kind of my boyfriend at the time, but I was planning on breaking up with him. Mason didn't escape with the rest of them because he wanted to stay back and help me. Isaiah killed him and I watched. After that Eddie had developed a protective nature over me. Kind of like a big brother, always looking out for me.

The second time I saved his life was when a large group of Strigoi attacked the Academy. Me, Christian, Dimitri and some of the other guardians killed most of the attackers but some of them had escaped, taking a snack with them for later. Eddie was among the group of Moroi and dhampir that had gotten captured. When I found out I came up with the idea of sending in a rescue squad.

Because of that Eddie was saved. Now Eddie still had the same sort of protectiveness over me, and I didn't mind. I had the same sort of feelings towards him and together we were a great team.

"Thanks," I said to him and pulled away. I studied Eddie for several moments. He had heavy bags under his eyes and he was a little paler than usual. I don't know how, but I managed to forget that Eddie was Adrian's guardian. And Adrian was gone. This had to be hard on him.

"Eddie, I'm so sorry. I should have been able to protect Adrian…" I felt my eyes beginning to sting and more tears boiling to my eyes. I wanted to go right back to my room, then. But I couldn't. I needed to talk to Lissa. I blinked back the tears as Eddie shook his head.

"No, Rose. It's not your fault. You did what was right, protecting Lissa. If I were in your position I would have done the exact same thing. It meant a lot to hear that from Eddie. Besides myself, Eddie was the best in our class.

I think the two of us both blamed ourselves for Adrian's death the same way we did Mason's. But really, it was neither of our faults. There was nothing we could have done, which is why I needed to do something now.

I forgot about the other guard's presence until he spoke, "Rose, I'm sorry about what happened. Lord Ivashkov's death was a huge loss to us all, and even more so for you, I can imagine. I wish there was more that we could have done."

I realized that everyone was referring to Adrian as dead. But he wasn't. I just knew he wasn't. But there was one way to find out, and I was going to get to that as soon as possible. I gave the guardian a small smile. "Thank you," I said, and he nodded.

The elevator dinged then and we were on ground level. The other guardian immediately turned the opposite way. Eddie was still walking with me. "Are you going to see Lissa?" He asked.

"Yeah…How's she holding up?"

"She's alright. Upset. But she's more worried about you."

I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach. For the past four days all I thought about was myself. I didn't once check up on Lissa, I didn't even think of it. I had been making my friends and family worry about me the whole time, and I never once cared.

"Hey, don't sweat it. We all deserve some time for ourselves. You've been through so much in your life, Lissa understands that. She knows that you are upset and she doesn't blame you at all for what happened. And she doesn't mind that you've been holed up in your room. Nobody does, though we're all concerned."

Eddie always knew the right thing to say. "Thanks."

We walked quietly the rest of the way to Lissa's room. The guards let us through immediately, and I knocked on her door. Christian answered it and when he saw me, the first thing that left his mouth was, "God, Rose. You look terrible."

I glared at him. He stepped to the side and let me and Eddie enter the room, and he shut the door behind us. "Christian, who is it?" Lissa asked coming out of another room. Her eyes widened when she saw me and she ran over to me and grasped me into a hug.

"Oh, Liss. I'm so glad you're alright!" I whispered.

"Me? I was worried about you. I didn't even come out with a scratch!" She cried.

"I'm…fine. But, uh, Liss. I need to talk to you. Privately."

She agreed but Christian wouldn't leave when Lissa ordered him to. "Rose, what is it that you can't tell us?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Christian, it's not like I'm keeping anything from you. It's just kind of personal." I explained. No matter mine and Christian's history, he was one of my good friends. I cared about him just as he cared about me though we would never admit it out loud.

Eddie put a hand on his shoulder, urging him out of the room. Finally Christian complied and the door shut leaving only Lissa and I.

She led me to her room, trying to avoid the living area where we had been attacked. She sat me on her bead and she took a seat across from me. She rested her hands on top of mine. "What's going on, Rose?" Her voice was soft and tender and it made me hate myself for what I was about to do.

I took a deep breath. "Liss, we need to search for Adrian."

She stared at me for a few seconds, not blinking. "Rose Adrian is—" Understanding clicked. "Oh."

I closed my eyes. "Lissa, I know you don't want to go through this again. But…but…I need to." I felt moisture drip down my cheeks. Be strong, Rose. Be strong. "I know that it will be hard, but it has to be done. And of course, I need you with me to change him back. But if you don't want to come, I'll understand. I'll figure something out and go by my—"

"I'll go," she announced.

I was startled. "You—you will?" I asked her, just to make sure.

"Of course, Rose. You know that I would do anything for you." She hugged me again, and my tears dripped onto her green T-shirt. We stayed like that for a while. I was so grateful to have a best friend as amazing as Lissa.

"We'll talk more about it tomorrow. Okay? We need to get you taken care of." She grabbed my hand and led me out of her suite and down to the court's kitchen.

Christian and Eddie caught up with us along the way and walked with us. Lissa's fingers were quick to intertwine with Christian's and I suddenly felt a sense of lacking. Adrian was always there to hold my hand. I was never really dependent on Adrian, I was just so used to him always being there. I didn't know what I was going to do without the small things that always came with Adrian. For instance there were always random deliveries to my room. Sometimes chocolates, sometimes flowers. I was so used to it and I never really thought much about it, but I know that I'm going to miss it. I felt empty.

It was like the situation with Dimitri all over again.

"Liss, I think I'm just going to go back to—"

"I don't think so!" Eddie almost shouted.

I had managed to block all the major feelings out of the bond since Adrian had been taken. I pretty much just numbed it. I felt enough to know that she was alive and not in trouble, but other than that I had restricted any messages or small feelings.

I let that wall tumble down then, and Lissa's yelling was echoing through my mind.

_ROSE! _She squeaked. _You haven't eaten in days! How do you expect to help Adrian if you stay weak? How do you expect to protect me? And have you seen yourself today? You look like you just crawled—_

"Okay Liss, I got it." I grunted and she sent comforting vibes and a sparkly grin.

We got to the kitchen and Lissa ordered for me, I really didn't feel like any more human interaction. Eddie walked me to the dining room and we sat at a table that was in the back, farthest away from people we could get.

After a few minutes, Lissa and Christian appeared with a cart of food. It had everything I absolutely loved. Pizza, brownies, eggs, bacon. A smorgasbord of delicious foods. My stomach rumbled and clenched. I didn't realize just how hungry I was. I was growing impatient with each step they took towards me. I was already imagining myself biting into the gooey cheese of the pizza.

Lissa and Christian finally reached me and shoved plates of food under my nose. I was the only one that ate. I devoured bite after bite after bite. It was practically heaven.

I finished my third plate of cheesy eggs when Lissa announced to the whole table, "So, Rose and I have something to tell you."

I was getting ready to delve into a glazed donut but it paused at my mouth. Uh-oh. Was she really going to tell them now?

I gave her a look for confirmation and she nodded. I set my donut down and cleared my throat. "Uh, Lissa and I are kind of sort of leaving soon," I finally spit out.

Christian's brows furrowed. "Leaving?" He asked, confused.

"The court," Eddie replied in a flat voice.

Christian shot out of his seat. "No way!" He shouted. "No fucking way!"

"Christian, calm down," I hissed.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "It's just that things are different now than they were in high school. Lissa, you can't just sneak out of the court whenever you want. You're the queen!"

"We're not sneaking out dumb shit, we're just going to leave. She's the queen! She can do whatever she wants!" I reminded him.

Lissa added, "And that's the beauty of it all. Because you and Eddie can come to if you want. It's not like you can get in trouble."

Christian sat back down and considered that. Finally, he said, "Okay, that makes sense, I suppose. I mean, I remember Queen Tatiana taking vacations. But me and Eddie _are_ going with you. Along with other guardians."

I shook my head and interjected before Lissa could even try to speak. "No. I mean this is a really personal thing for me. We're searching for Adrian, in case you didn't know. I don't want a lot of people. The four of us are fine. Trust me, Lissa and you will be safe. You've got two of the best guardians with you." I flashed Christian a huge grin but he just snorted.

"There was a Strigoi attack four days ago, in case you forgot," He said drily.

I growled. I have known Christian for four years. You'd think we both would have grown and matured within that time, but truthfully we act just like we did when we were seventeen. He knew exactly what to say to piss me off. He never failed. I gritted my teeth.

On the day that Lissa had actually came into my room to try to comfort me she had gotten me to stop crying long enough to explain the whole Strigoi incident. Apparently Lissa's suite was not the only room that was raided. I guess it turned out that three Strigoi had invaded one room for each royal family. Most were lucky enough to either not be in their room or be with their guardians at the time. Unfortunately, though, there were three that did not make it out.

A Zecklos lord and a Voda had been killed. An Ivashkov had been dragged away. Adrian Ivashkov. No one knew how so many Strigoi got on the Court grounds, and that was something the guardians were struggling to figure out.

"Of course I have not forgotten you idiot," I sneered. "But that's exactly why this is okay. Do you think any one expects the precious queen to leave her throne after a "major" attack? Of course not."

"Do you think that anyone's actually going to let her leave?" Eddie argued.

"It doesn't matter what they want, I'm the queen. I make the rules," Sounded Lissa, almost mad.

Christian opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off. "No protesting, Christian. Lissa and I are going. End of story. You can either come along, or not. It doesn't make a difference to me. We don't need you!" I snapped and I was surprised by the acid in my own voice. But I hadn't slept in days and I was highly irritable.

"Where are we going?" Eddie inquired quietly.

"Russia," I replied just as softly.

"Alright," he sighed. "I'm in."

"Me too." And Lissa lit up the moment Christian complied.


	3. Chapter 3

Lissa sat on the edge of my bed. So many questions were churning within her mind. Burning in her eyes. She was reluctant to ask, though. She was afraid to upset me. I was too busy gathering my own thoughts to assure her. I was working to block out her feelings, but it was useless. My mind was racing too much to exert the energy that was required for my mental wall.

And though I wasn't obstructing her thoughts, I wasn't really paying attention. Therefore, it came as a huge surprise when she asked her next question: "Why are you so eager to help Adrian, when you were totally against saving Dimitri?"

I stopped pacing the space of my room and looked at her. I was completely shocked at the words. She was so bent on not hurting me—or casting me right back into depression—yet, she said the words that angered me most.

Her tone was neither accusing nor damning. She was just simply curious. I knew I was wrong for getting upset, it was the one question that had been scorching her since the moment I told her we were leaving.

"Because, Liss. When it was Dimitri…well the possibility was still a fairy tale. Now that I know that it can happen it makes me much less hesitant," I told her evenly.

As much as Lissa loved Adrian—he was like a brother to her—she still had a weird bond to Dimitri. Not the kind of bond that she and I share, more like a deep connection with him that she can't seem to let go. I guess that's what happens when you bring someone back from the undead.

So, the fact that I was so anxious to steal her from the court and make her save Adrian kind of bothered her. She thought that maybe I loved Adrian more…

"Liss, it's not like that. I don't really think it possible for me to love anyone like I loved Dimitri back then," I sighed. It was still a touchy subject for me. "But even if I did, would that be so bad? Dimitri left me with broken promises and a broken heart. Would it really be that terrible if my feelings for Adrian were more than I ever felt for Dimitri?"

Lissa listened to me vent, staying quiet the whole time.

I continued on about how I deserved to be happy, and how Dimitri was just a giant asshole for prolonging that. I could tell through the bond that she wasn't happy about my harsh words, but I didn't care. She deserved to hear it. She needed to know that it wasn't Dimitri she should have been defending in that situation.

"It's my love life, Lissa. Not yours!" I snapped. "So, why don't you just help me, so you can go back to yours? We all know how perfect it is!" The last statement held so much built up resentment that I did not even realize was there. Lissa looked stunned at my verbal slap and she looked down at her hands.

I realized that my words had contained too much acid and I immediately felt guilty. It wasn't her fault. The shadows were obviously getting the best of me again. "Sorry Liss, that was harsh."

"No, you were right," she said softly. "The first cut is always the deepest, but luckily you had a boyfriend that happened to be a healer."

I flinched at her using past-tense verbs.

"True," I said. "Now we need a plan."

In the midst of all of our preparations for the upcoming adventure, my mind started to wander. I knew he was going to go after Dimitri, but it would probably take him some time to figure out where he was. Hell, I didn't even know where he was. When he left he told me he was going back to Siberia.

But it's been three years. A lot can happen in that time. How did I know he wasn't married? Or maybe he had gotten a new assignment. There were endless possibilities. I knew that even before asking Lissa, but I refused to acknowledge it. Now, it seemed kind of essential. If only we had some way to contact—

"Lissa, Adrian taught you to dream walk, right?" I asked, hopefully.

Lissa regarded me warily. "Yeah, why…?"

She thought I was going to ask her to try to reach Adrian. Did she think I was losing my mind? I knew better than anyone that Strigoi were incapable of sleep. Dimitri had reminded me several times when he was one of them. He always told me that if he could dream, it would be about me. I ignored the sharp pain that shot through me with that memory.

"I need you…to go to Dimitri," I explained.

She clearly was not expecting that. Her jaw dropped. Through the bond I felt a jumble of reactions. _No, I can't. But I have to. But I just can't. Why would she need that? I can't! Oh god, this is crazy. But I have to! _

"I can't," she finally decided.

"Why?" I argued.

"Because I haven't seen him in years, even if I wanted to it would be sort of difficult to even get a grasp on him. Plus, who knows when that guy sleeps?"

"But you don't want to?"

Her face turned red. She was hoping that I wouldn't catch that. "It's not that I don't want to…"

"But?"

"It would just be weird."

"That's the risk you're going to have to take," I demanded flatly. I knew she would do it.

She was quiet for what seemed to be hours, but really was only about a minute. "Fine," she finally said. "But there's no guarantees that I'll be able to get to reach him."

She shut her eyes and I felt the warming sensation that accompanied the magic. When she didn't return shortly after, I knew she was in.

A few minutes had passed and I was getting anxious. What the hell was happening? It was killing me. So, I did what I usually did when I was curious about Lissa. Really hoping that it would work, I entered her mind.

As it happens, it did work. I was immediately able to feel and see everything that she did.

"I told you not to come back," Dimitri told her. His voice was cold, but his portrayed no emotions. He was holding up the guardian mask that he had perfected long before he met me.

Wait, what? Come back? Had she visited his dreams before? She lied to me. What the fuck?

"I'm the queen," she reminded him politely, though I could sense the edge in her voice.

He sighed. "Fine. Why are you here, then?" His face was still blank, but his tone had slightly lightened.

"I'm here for Rose…" Her boldness had turned cowardly and the words came out as a mere whisper.

"What?" He asked slowly. His perfect mask was slowly fading and I could see the fury in his eyes. His lips curled back into a sneer.

Lissa was flushed with shame. She felt so bad for doing _this_ to him. What was this?

"Queen Dragomir," He spoke slowly, trying to keep his voice even. It was funny, after all this time, I could still read Dimitri like a book. "Can you please let me go back to my happy dreams?"

As bad as Lissa felt, she knew that she needed to do this. The fact that he was being kind of rude helped her to stand her ground and keep her foot down. "No," she said defiantly. "Tell me where you are."

"No," barked Dimitri.

Lissa met his eyes levelly, and in a steady voice ordered him once more. "Tell me where you are."

I felt the warmth flow and knew she was compelling him. I didn't know compulsion could be used in dreams. But I did know that in spirit dreams, every action felt real. Me and Adrian had shared many kisses in dreams and I knew that it could easily be mistaken for reality. So why wouldn't compulsion work?

Dimitri had a very high resistant for compulsion, so he didn't break. "That's not going to work," he growled.

Lissa cranked it up to a dangerous level. One that was going to leave her with all sorts of darkness. And then that would transfer to me. Oh great. "Dimitri, tell me where you are staying."

He continued staring at her for several moments, clearly trying to fight the magic. Eventually, his eyes glazed over—which surprised me. I had never seen Dimitri compelled.

"Russia," he told her. So he _was_ still there.

"Where in Siberia?" Lissa pushed.

"Baia."

"With who?"

"My family."

"For how long?"

He paused. "I don't know."

"Will you be there for the next week?" Oh God, Liss. She was holding the power over him for too long. She was exerting an incredible amount of force, and it was not safe!

"Yes." Lissa seemed satisfied. She gave him a wide grin. "Thank you, Guardian Belikov. Sweet dreams!"

She brought herself out of the dream, and I snapped myself out of her head. I fixed her with a glare. "Lissa, what the hell aren't you telling me?" I immediately demanded.

"What do you mean?" She asked, but she knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Don't give me that shit! I was in your head."

"Rose, really? You couldn't just wait a few minutes?" She sounded skeptical.

"No."

She didn't say anything, but I didn't tear my gaze away from her. She was going to give me some damn answers!

Lissa took a nice deep breath and then fixed me with an apologetic look glinting in her eyes. "Okay, well it was about a year after…you know. Adrian had just taught me how to dream walk. Rose, please forgive me! I could see that you were still upset, so I decided to have a few words with Dimitri."

Honestly, I was finding that being mad at Lissa was not working at that moment. More than anything, I was proud of her. I loved when she took matters into her own hands. I felt a grin spreading over my face. "What kind of words?" I asked excitedly, hoping that she would tell me she cussed him out or something like that.

She shrugged. "I don't know, I just demanded some answers."

My alarm spiked. "Did you compel him?" I asked her. I had witnessed the amount of magic she had just used and it was nowhere near healthy. It was the kind that could take Lissa into crazy territory. But she didn't even seem fazed. Maybe it was because she had used it inside of a dream.

"Nope," she told me. "I just asked him what his problem was. Stuff like that. When things got too personal he got angry and told me to get out of his dreams and never return. I don't hold it against him, though."

I wished that I could be as forgiving and compassionate as Lissa. That was one of the many wonderful things about her. Honestly, if she didn't have those qualities, I'm pretty sure I would have been dumped on my ass in middle school.

"What were the personal things?" I asked, suddenly registering what she had said.

"Rose I don't think—"

"I can handle it."

"Well, I asked him about, you know, relationships." She looked too nervous for this to end well.

"And?" I prompted.

"At the time he was involved in something serious. When he told me that I kind of overreacted and that was why he got upset with me."

I raised my eyebrows. "Overreacted how?" I admit, I was amused and trying to block out the rest of that statement.

She could see it. "I don't know," she waved her hands around. "I just told him that she was probably nothing compared to you. I told him that what he had done was stupid and that he made a mistake. I told him" she paused and she looked a little embarrassed. "that she was probably just some bitch he was using to get over you."

My jaw dropped and a laugh escaped. "You go, Liss! What did he say?"

Her face turned a deep shade of red. "He told me that I was being ridiculous and that I needed to accept the fact you were…a fling. Something he moved on from quickly."

All the humor drained from my face. "That's all I was?" I whispered.

"Rose, no!" Lissa was wrapping her arms around me. "He just said that because he was upset. He didn't mean that."

"No, Liss. I saw the look he gave you in that dream. I'm nothing but an annoying memory." The sad part was, I felt like my heart was breaking all over again. "Going to Russia to save him is a stupid idea! Maybe we should let Adrian finish him off and then we turn him back into a Moroi." I could feel the sobs ripping through my chest.

"You don't mean that," she stated firmly.

"I know. When are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow. Get some sleep, Rose." She gave me one last squeeze and then released her arms. I was pretty sure I was asleep before Lissa even shut the door behind her.

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